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DLA Piper Takes to the High Seas to Celebrate

May 6, 2013

Luxury Liner TycoonWho says cheaters never prosper?  Shortly after quietly caving on their well-publicized overbilling dispute, aka the DLA Pipergate fiasco, the good ol’  boys actually took over the #1 ranking in the coveted (covetous?) AmLaw Money Grab 100.  Perhaps DLA Piper rose in the rankings from zealously attacking any and all unnecessary expenses and/or overhead, thereby gaining extra profitability through running a tighter ship?  I’m sure that is something that the “Guru to the BigLaw Stars,” Adam Smith Esq., would recommend as a sensible course of action in a tough market and upon the heels of their little email hiccup.

Uh, well, errrrrr, maybe not.  After all, we’re talking about THE DLA Piper, and that’s not how the Big Dogs roll!  Tight ship, my arse, they’re gonna buy their own luxury liner (okay, in this case, just rent one for a cool $3.1 million – but hey, that’s only two partner’s average PPP – just demote a couple of the boys that screwed up that TransOcean matter!)  I’d love to write more about this myopic, Great Gatsby-esque, Decline of Western Civilization-like spending spree, but the crew over at Above the Law, beat me to it here, and did one hell of a job of it, at that.  Here’s a preview, just in case you are an actual DLA Piper client, and you don’t want to see how bad you are being abused, because trust me, DLA Piper certainly won’t be cutting into their fat PPP to pay for this lavish extravaganza:

But that $3.1 million is only to secure exclusive use of Royal Caribbean’s Liberty of the Seas during its peak season. The true cost goes far beyond that figure. For instance, that doesn’t cover the costs associated with flying everyone to Barcelona and then home from Nice from each of DLA’s 26,000 offices around the world (DLA’s Tycho Crater office will open once they move that damn monolith). Or the inevitable hotel rooms involved for the first and last night. Or, as the article points out, the booze.

Dear God, the booze. With 22 bars, clubs, and lounges, “that bill shall know no limits.”

Sounds like my kinda party!

Note to self:  Perhaps go easier on these guys, and maybe you could have finagled a berth on the HMS Piper as a barkeep, or something!

Memo to DLA Piper clients:  Better start budgeting for next year’s rate increase letters.  Might be a bit larger than expected, but hey, don’t you just grin and bear it every year anyway, right?

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